Real Talk Not Small Talk
Does anyone out there enjoy “small talk?” The perfunctory, socially correct Q&A or discussion of the weather. I actually get irritated with “small talk.” I’d much rather be at a social event and introduce myself to a stranger with, “Hi, I’m Valorie. When was the last time you were truly inspired by something or someone?” Or, “Hi I’m Valorie. What’s the last great book you read?”
If you’re in agreement let’s play conversation. “Hi, I’m Valorie… (pick a question(s) and share your response. Feel free to add a question of your own.)
1. What do you love about your dorkiest self?
2. If you could throw a word and it’s meaning out of the English language, what word would it be and why?
3. Are you more interested in being liked or respected? Do your actions support this statement?
4. If you couldn’t use your phone or internet for the week, what would you accomplish?
5. If you could change careers, what would you do?
6. What’s the worst mistake you’ve ever made? Have you forgiven yourself and truly let it go?
7. What country—other than your current one—would you want to live in and why?
8. If you had one super power, what would it be?
9. What’s the greatest compliment you would give yourself?
10. Do you believe that leaders are made or born?
Good conversations inspire intrigue. Good conversations make you think about your own understanding of the world. Good conversations expose perspectives to you that were previously opaque. At best, small talk acts as a social courtesy. Let’s skip the chit chat and aspire to a more thoughtful and deeper understanding of each other and ourselves.
This is AWESOME!!! =) I LOVE all these answers!!
If I could get rid of any word/words in the english language it would be every single racial, ethnic and sexual slur. ALL those derogatory terms need to GO!! They are hurtful and serve ZERO purpose in my opinion. If I could have any super power it would be telepathy…I would LOVE to be be able to help my athletes more. And apparently I need to go to London!! =)
Thanks for opening up this discussion Valoria!! ♥
This is awesome! I love reading everyone’s responses. 5. If you could change careers, what would you do? So many things! I would love to learn how to sew and do patterns so I could design and make dresses. Writing-definitely. I have a great idea for a novel and I want to try it out. Choreography-it’s so fascinating. I want to take a seminar and try choreographing a piece myself. Blogging about travel, art, architecture, dance and fashion-some of my favorite things. That one will happen when I take time off to be a mom down the road. 7. What… Read more »
You live such a colorful life. I can’t wait to see how you interpret it all in dance. It will certainly be rich in layers of movement from all of the different lands you’ve enjoyed. Please share it when it’s done ~
Whenever I choreograph my first piece I’ll send you a video and you can tell me what you think 🙂 Maybe I can participate in DC’s NACHMO (National Choreography Month) in January/February 2017.
I’m don’t like to compliment myself, but here is my answer to #9 (and maybe a few other questions as well). Years ago, I chose to begin the most important career to me which was to raise my children as a “stay at home” mom. I chose to give 150% and do my absolute best at this “career” choice. This was the most challenging and rewarding job I have ever held. Sacrifices were made to live on only one salary, but the joys were many. I held so many “jobs” with this one career decision such as, household CEO, chauffeur,… Read more »
Pam – that is BEAUTIFUL! I literally started tearing up reading your journey with your daughters. Congratulations on a magnificent career! I can’t wait to see what your next career entails! Bravo my friend ~~~ Thank you so much for sharing. I know you don’t like to do this. You did good 😉
Thank you my friend. What an honor it is to be your friend?
1. What do you love about your dorkiest self? Probably that I don’t even realize that some of the things that I love the most are incredibly dorky until someone tells me that. But, I watch the game show Jeopardy! on a daily basis and listening to the podcast about the TV show The West Wing is one of the highlights of each week for me. So, I think both of those things likely qualify! 🙂 2. If you could throw a word and it’s meaning out of the English language, what word would it be and why? Actually, a… Read more »
Amen Amy! I’m going to reprint your answer about words and phrases you’d throw out. We ALL need to hear this! Thanks friend! I’m so glad you have your adorable wheelchair. It is compact, extremely mobile and never a bother. It only brings good things. =)
the-thinker-489753_640 Written by Miss Val / Life / October 16, 2016 Real Talk Not Small Talk Does anyone out there enjoy “small talk?” The perfunctory, socially correct Q&A or discussion of the weather. I actually get irritated with “small talk.” I’d much rather be at a social event and introduce myself to a stranger with, “Hi, I’m Valorie. When was the last time you were truly inspired by something or someone?” Or, “Hi I’m Valorie. What’s the last great book you read?” If you’re in agreement let’s play conversation. “Hi, I’m Valorie… (pick a question(s) and share your response. Feel… Read more »
Wow – all of your answers were spoken as a scholar of life. I loved reading them especially the one about not needing another evil word especially one with Fairy in it… I LOVE THAT!!!
Hi, Miss Val. Thank you for the compliment.
So I saw a question, “Do you fear living more than death?” or some variation of that and, while you may have answered it already, how do you interpret that question?
That aside, you know, I really love the purpose of this blog, because you are so right: we’re so guarded. When we meet others, asking not-that-deep-but-deep-enough questions is seen as being “intrusive” when, sometimes, it’s nice to have a superficial-yet-engaging conversation with someone you may never see again. I love that, too!
– Keith
I first thought about this small talk issue when I was at a very fancy event and everyone seemed afraid to “get real”. I was soooooo annoyed, the next person I met I said “Hi I’m Valorie, so do you believe that there is life after this life on earth?” It actually turned into a wonderful discussion.
If you could throw a word and it’s meaning out of the English language, what word would it be and why? While I understand where this question could call to action many thoughts for some, I am going to choose to put a spin on it. I would choose to throw out any self-deprecating words or phrases that someone conjures up and speaks over themselves. Words of self-deprecation were once an enormous struggle I had. I always believed I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t strong enough, or I wasn’t talented enough. At the root of me speaking those words over… Read more »
Cory I LOVE this!!! =) “I choose to speak words of life…” You are AAAAMAZING!!! And I am soooo EXCITED for you to be back with the team!! <3
You are incredible poetic. Thanks for sharing. I’ve learned how poisonous self-deprecating words can be even if they’re said in jest. I too refuse to plant an evil seed in my psych with negative thoughts. Good call CMT
Cory – oh wise one. Yes. Yes to all of it. I am in the midst of this journey right NOW. One of my favorite books that I’ve read recently, and keep rereading, is called “Open Randomly: Fortune cookies for the soul.” One of the first chapters in the book is called “The relationship you are having with yourself.” As a person whom can’t escape the logical and practical nature of my own thoughts, the presentation in this chapter made it oh so clear. If you were the boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, etc., of yourself, would you stay in that… Read more »
Hi Miss Val! I think GREAT leaders are both made and born. There is usually something inherently inbedded in a person that gives them the potential to be a leader. But I think that life circumstances and how they face those challenges are what ultimately makes a leader a GREAT leader. I don’t think anyone can lead without first following an example. Case in point, you! You, yourself have said how much Coach Wooden has impacted your life. Most leaders, I believe, have a true desire in their soul to make the world a better place. Maybe not on a… Read more »
I agree! I have told Coach Kondos-Field UCLA will regard her in the same way as it reveres Coach Wooden when she retires. A true asset to the Bruins.
Soooooo well put. That’s exactly what I believe. I believe that all leaders have a small bit of leadership character and abilities that they are born with. Too often we equate Leadership with people who are in the forefront and boisterous… I’ve come to learn that the quiet leaders are actually the most effective. I hope you’re well my young friend.
If I had one super power it would be the ability to increase people’s self-esteem. Low self-esteem can have an almost crippling effect on people by making it difficult to do even some of the simplest everyday things. I noticed on here that few people answered the “what is your greatest compliment to yourself” question. I would be willing to bet that many people struggle with finding any sort of compliment about themselves let alone their greatest. I remember when I met you about two years ago you asked me if I had been a gymnast. When I told you… Read more »
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. I’m glad that my congratulating you had such an impact. It amazing how something so simple to us can mean so much to another. Re: your compliment to yourself…Loyalty is a remarkable trait. It encompasses soooooo much, including forgiveness, not judging, being able to turn the other cheek and the ability to love unconditionally. It’s the main reason we all love dogs so much and why they are used for therapy. They are the epitome of Loyalty. If I answer this question I’d say that one thing I like about myself is that I… Read more »
Oohh, if I could live anywhere, it would be London. I was there in June and felt like of all the cities I traveled to – this was me. The fashion is forward, social decorum is on pointe, and the men are dapper. My goal is to get a Learning and Development assignment there!
New question: which city matches your personality?
I adore “Dapper”! 😉
My superpower would be to give people the strength and faith to be honest. What defines you? Your success or your honesty and faith? I believe that your faith and honesty define you and only that gives you success. Without it, any success is hollow and false. Once you lose faith, you lose yourself. Once you have faith, another person’s dishonesty cannot define you.