A Return to the Desert
The Desert offers a place to shut down, regroup, and come out better than we went in.
That’s an excerpt from my first musing on being in the Desert. I was shocked as to how many responded to that musing and how many people I’ve seen in person who have said, “I read your musing about the Desert and it hit home.” …And then they go on to tell me about their latest Desert experience.
It’s a testament to the fact that we ALL are in the Desert multiple times during our lifetimes. Some people “dwell” in the Desert. In fact, I can think of three people whom I know well that “choose” to live in the Desert. They’d tell you they were in quicksand, but if they were to pause and look down at their circumstances they’d realize they were burying their own toes into the sand. For them, it is easier to lament about their “lot in life” than realize they have a choice whether to stay in the Desert or not.
I can’t help but think that a lot of us would get out of the Desert quicker if we were simply happy with where we were in life instead of feeling desperately inadequate because it’s so easy to fall into the trap of “comparison.”
“Comparison is the thief of Joy.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
I know that there are many times when I get down and feel inadequate or like no matter how much I learn and grow I’ll never be “good enough.” If I take a moment to think where this desolate spirit is coming from, it’s always from a place of comparison… which usually comes from the spin master that is social media.
To break through the dust cloud of comparison I have deleted a substantial number of people from networks who don’t fuel me with inspiration, knowledge or curiosity. There is so much creativity and wonder in the world that I don’t want to miss it because I’ve buried my feet (or head) in the sand—and I don’t want to waste one day wondering if I’m “good enough.” My journeys in the desert have calibrated my barometer for “good enough,” which for me is simply: Am I living an inspired, appreciative and mindful day. The Desert is a crucible where we can self-reflect and find inspiration. Every day I attempt to be inspired, which is one reason I love the community that is growing here. I acknowledge the desert is a powerful place, but I don’t wish to vacation there. So… I’d like to know what inspires you to keep out of the desert?
Dear Miss Val, I was lucky enough to attend your book signing in 2019. When I first read your book, I was 24 and traveling all over the country for work. I couldn’t imagine spending time in the desert anytime soon. Fast forward to now and I’m living alone feeling isolated and sad. I get up everyday and still give it my all at my job (which I once loved but now feels like a chore since I’m sitting alone in my apartment). I try to find joy in a good book or a phone call with a friend but… Read more »
“If I take a moment to think where this desolate spirit is coming from, it’s always from a place of comparison… which usually comes from the spin master that is social media.” Yep. I’m so guilty of this. Especially the last few years, after being made redundant and struggling to find work and having to go back to a minimum wage job where you get a lot of rudeness and snottiness from people. And sometimes it’s been hard to see social media posts and not feel jealousy. UGH! I think because of times I’ve looked at social media posts with… Read more »
I have a few things that keep me out of the desert. First one is knowing that I have a life worth living! I want to inspire people, I want to learn more, experience more, and do more. I don’t want to be the poster girl for apathy and I don’t want to be an example of what not to do. I want to be proud of myself, I want others to be proud of me, but most importantly, I want God to be proud of me. The other thing that minimizes my time in the desert is that I… Read more »
Kelli ~ your words are exactly how I feel. I often thank God for the fact that He felt it important enough to create me. WOW! I definitely do not want to disappoint…
In order for me to keep out of the desert, I first have to recognize when I am in the desert. How can I keep out of a place that I don’t know I am in? I have a history of detaching from my feelings so being able to notice my feelings is something I have worked very hard on over the past few years. I also completely relate to the need to compare myself to other people, I feel that I spent most of my 20’s doing this because I wasn’t taking what is considered the traditional life path… Read more »
That is such a major aha moment … when you realize you don’t have to follow someone else’s blueprint for life, but that you can craft your life as to what feels right to YOU. I can’t tell you how many people tried to talk me into having children. I just never felt that special something that people feel who want to have children. And I’ve never regretted it.
Miss Val you seem like a truly awesome person. I don’t know you in person but I think you’re 500% good enough ?. How do I stay out of the desert? Dance class, spending time with people I love, hanging out with my Shih Tzu (she’s the best dog in the universe in my totally unbiased opinion ?), traveling, traveling to see friends, exploring, going to concerts, musicals and other performances, planning fun weekends, going to the beach, yoga on the beach, planning trips to warm places when it’s winter here, seeing street art, trying a new restaurant. Lots of… Read more »
WOW Elizabeth – GOOD FOR YOU! Leaving your job like that takes Courage and Faith. Courage that something better for YOU is waiting for you and Faith that with consistent intention you’ll find a much better work experience that fills you up instead of draining you. When we do meet we’ll have much in common as I love doing all of the same things you enumerated above.
Thank you so much for the good vibes!! It’s hard to leave a situation that is actually pretty decent-good co-workers, lots of flexibility, I’m appreciated-except for a lack of work life balance, but that’s a huge except and new adventures await :). I’ll let you know the next time I’m in LA. My wife and I both love the city so I’m sure it won’t be too long before we’re back.
I find myself in the desert quite a bit a seems…. “where do I go next in my life???” “What do I do???” “Will people approve???” and yes, even the favorite “Am I good enough???” That last one comes with all the bells and whistles going off… and you’re correct. The sand runs deep and quick. I think the worst of it is “What did I do to get to this point in the desert??? Where is it I went wrong??? And maybe there is no answer… maybe I’m just supposed to stop and rest and get a tan while… Read more »
Stephanie – THIS IS AWESOME! I love it … “…maybe I’m just supposed to stop and rest and get a tan…” BRILLIANT!
By nature I am not a desert person. Literally or figuratively. I prefer the mountains. I understand the purpose and value of the desert and am fine sinking my toes in every once in awhile. But my faith, desire to set an example and knowledge that no matter what, I am blessed beyond anything expected keeps me pretty grounded on top of the mountain. Thanks for always inspiring those around you Val.
You too inspire so many Lori by choosing to dwell on top of that mountain!